Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize