But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
