i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
