have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize