I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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