She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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