okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Your cock deserves a montage
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
