Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
