Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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