not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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