So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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