have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
