i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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