of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
The struggles of a small town man whore
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
