I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
