Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
