She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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