If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
