how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
i drank out of a bidet.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You ruined the universe
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
