saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
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