break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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