We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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