i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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