I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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