i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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