dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
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She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
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I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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