Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
