he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize