Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
