i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Randomize
