hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
