Yo dont text me then not text me
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
The power of my boobs compel you
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
