is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
