I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
