I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Whod you bang
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
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