Church boner. Awkwardddd
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
