He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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