Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
you had me at cake vodka
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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