6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
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