Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
