In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Randomize
