My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
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