I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize