Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
