i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
