Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
