how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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