non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
