her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i wish my penis had a tongue
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
