your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
