i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Randomize
