i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
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i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
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I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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