it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
