i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
