If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
