Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
