The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
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We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
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I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
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