he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Randomize
