she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
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