The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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